By MrMaranatha
Love your wife and family... not yourself.
Everyone in the world wants to tell you how to have a good time and that its ok to cheat on your spouse. I Say Balderdash!! If you value your family you better protect it!
Things You’ll Need:
• Honesty
• Honesty with yourself
• Love for wife and family
• willingness to tell self NO!!
Your eyes are the window to your soul... Learn to tell them "NO!"
Jesus told the people in one of his sermons that "If a man looks at a woman to lust after her... He has committed adultery with her already in his heart"
When you look at other women and undress them in your mind... you are committing adultery on your wife...
This is the foundation of most if not all family problems and Divorces...
Admit that you have an EYE (pronounced "I") Problem... The problem is not your wife... The problem is in looking at other women.
Your wife was pretty enough to you when you married her... What has changed? A few years to add laugh lines to her face???
She should be growing more beautiful in your eyes... If she is the only woman you look at...
You should be growing more dependant on her sexually also as time grows on...
Learn to tell yourself "NO!!! That’s not my wife!!!"
and Look another direction...
From the moment you start to correct yourself you will find that you wife means more to you... and more to you...
Pornography is not harmless...
Pornography is a very addictive tool that destroys... Think with me for a moment and keep your mind open... admit the truth and look at how pornography works...
As you look at Pornography you are seeing beautiful women... in sexy poses... Perfect women...
First of all the women are for the most part not even real. They are made up like a montage or have been computer altered to make the photos just perfect...
They are in poses and with expressions that you will rarely if ever see in real life with your spouse.
The pictures get you excited and after repeated use you become dependent upon The Beauty and the expressions...
You become dependent more and more upon the Graphic images that promote your sexual desires...
Your wife cannot compete with these images.
Your wife will be less and less appealing to you by and by... and she will know it...
As your wife senses that you are not as "in Love" with her as you used to be she will generally recluse herself from you and become closed sexually.
As your wife notices you looking at other women she becomes bitter against you...
As she looks in the mirror she sees lines in her face that are not even perceptible to you... and she says to herself "I’m getting old" and then draws the conclusion that soon her husband will dump her for a younger women...
In her heart she knows you would if you could... that you would cheat if you had the chance...
Then she starts to wonder about how many chances you have... and thinks on how you are un-attracted to her anymore... and wonders where you are spending your desire at.
Remember that you have an EYE Problem!!!
Telling your Eyes NO!!! is the first step in Recovery.
You need to start by telling yourself "NO"
But you need to start telling your wife...
I LOVE YOU!!!
How many times in the day can you tell her "I Love you"?
How many little ways can you show her???
Start by telling yourself in your heart... "I LOVE MY WIFE!!!" "I don’t need to look at any other woman!!!"
And remind yourself... "She is the Mother of my Children" "She and my children are both gifts from God... I need to protect them"
There is other advice I could give... but it all starts with a "overcoming selfishness".
If you find that these things are too hard for you... that you are overwhelmed... have you asked God to help you?
After all... Marriage is his institution... he is the one who founded it and he is the one who wants to see it work for you...
Stop for a moment and pray... be honest with God and ask his help.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
How to find some good Marital advice for women.
I Thank the Lord for a Great wife!!!
Concerned about your marriage? You should be...
Are things Cooling off? Maybe It's time for a reality check and some positive action before it's to late.
This article is the first of several I am writing on Marital issues.
Everywhere you turn today there is "advice on relationships". So who do you want to listen to?First off let me qualify you... What do you want out of the relationship? Why do you want to be Married in the first place?Love? Friendship? Companionship? Sex? Finances? Get the Parents off your back? Someone to help you raise the kids?
Whatever your reasons to get married... What do you want from the marriage? How long do you want it to last? Long time? Great... how do you want to spend that eternity... "Happy with Marital Bliss???" or "Just doing time like a convict or caged animal"?
Who you receive and emulate the advice from will determine much in the way of where you end up in your marriage.What does it matter how many PHD's a person has on marital psychology if they have been married and divorced 15 times and are currently shacked up? Why listen to so called "Professionals" give marital advice when they can't even keep their own family in order? That's not the kind of track record that shows promise in the area of making a good marriage.That's like Hiring a Chauffer with 5 DWI's, 7 Reckless driving, and 10 Speeding tickets... along with 8 At Fault Accidents.... Considering all of that as an "Experienced Driver".Is that the kind of "Experience" you want advising you?
Most books have a "Forward" written by someone else who knows the author and who generally talks about the author... or maybe its the author them self who writes it as a testimony of where they have been and why you should listen to them...Read it... Look for things that show promise of good advice ahead.Look for the signs of a true "Expert" on marriage... that the person already has a "Good Marriage" and is writing from an experienced viewpoint.
How Long have they been married and how many Children have they raised?Did they raise the Children themselves or did the Public School system and the Television do it for them?How far have their children gone... where have they ended up?How is there marriage to their spouse?Look for signs of rebellion... animosity... Look for signs of Respect... love, Consideration, Un-Selfishness.Look at their other book titles... Do the titles conflict?One on "Family" and another on something that is apposed or contrary to those values? Is the person talking out both sides of their mouth?
I thank the Lord for my wife... and I also thank the Lord for the women she has learned from.My wife now teaches other women in churches and passes on some of what she has learned... Much of what she has learned has been from the writings of other great wives who's advise was worthy to be taken... (as with any author I don't necessarily agree with all of their points... so eat the meat and spit out the bones)Some of that advice can be found here:Debbie Pearls book on "Created to be his help meet"http://shop.nogreaterjoy.org/index.php/cPath/2_18
I know of many... Many couples who have really benefited from the Book "Created to be his Help meet"... Not just myself... Just about every couple we know in the State side churches has had the opportunity of reading this and by the light in the couples eyes... You can tell it makes a difference... It even made a difference in my own parents who are now over 70 and have been married for over 45 years... sometimes not so happily... (They have had a revival in their marriage from several sources of input but I would have to say that book did the greatest impact.) I will try to post some other URLs as I can find them... Or remember the book or author names...
To tell the truth... I don't consider myself a "Great Husband" But My wife does... And that is one of the things that makes our marriage work.Ladies... Your husband may have many bad qualities... and people are sure to point them out... especially if you encourage it. There is a fine line between a wife's opinion of her husband and what that husband becomes.Behind every good Man.... there is a woman...Your encouragement meens allot.
Sometimes the "Experts" In your life are relatives... other times they are on the Television... Maybe in a magazine or at the Bar...Consider the source... Consider their marriage and ask yourself... is that what I want for my family?While the world wants to tell you to have a great time... live it up...Good marital advice is generally to put your spouse first.Care for the Spouse, the Children, the home...If your spouse is not happy... the whole house will be uneasy...If the husband and wife relationship is out of whack.. the kids will also be a mess. When fellowship is restored and maintained... everything else sort of falls into place as well...A good Marriage is worth the effort...A great Marriage is worth more than the world!!!
Concerned about your marriage? You should be...
Are things Cooling off? Maybe It's time for a reality check and some positive action before it's to late.
This article is the first of several I am writing on Marital issues.
Everywhere you turn today there is "advice on relationships". So who do you want to listen to?First off let me qualify you... What do you want out of the relationship? Why do you want to be Married in the first place?Love? Friendship? Companionship? Sex? Finances? Get the Parents off your back? Someone to help you raise the kids?
Whatever your reasons to get married... What do you want from the marriage? How long do you want it to last? Long time? Great... how do you want to spend that eternity... "Happy with Marital Bliss???" or "Just doing time like a convict or caged animal"?
Who you receive and emulate the advice from will determine much in the way of where you end up in your marriage.What does it matter how many PHD's a person has on marital psychology if they have been married and divorced 15 times and are currently shacked up? Why listen to so called "Professionals" give marital advice when they can't even keep their own family in order? That's not the kind of track record that shows promise in the area of making a good marriage.That's like Hiring a Chauffer with 5 DWI's, 7 Reckless driving, and 10 Speeding tickets... along with 8 At Fault Accidents.... Considering all of that as an "Experienced Driver".Is that the kind of "Experience" you want advising you?
Most books have a "Forward" written by someone else who knows the author and who generally talks about the author... or maybe its the author them self who writes it as a testimony of where they have been and why you should listen to them...Read it... Look for things that show promise of good advice ahead.Look for the signs of a true "Expert" on marriage... that the person already has a "Good Marriage" and is writing from an experienced viewpoint.
How Long have they been married and how many Children have they raised?Did they raise the Children themselves or did the Public School system and the Television do it for them?How far have their children gone... where have they ended up?How is there marriage to their spouse?Look for signs of rebellion... animosity... Look for signs of Respect... love, Consideration, Un-Selfishness.Look at their other book titles... Do the titles conflict?One on "Family" and another on something that is apposed or contrary to those values? Is the person talking out both sides of their mouth?
I thank the Lord for my wife... and I also thank the Lord for the women she has learned from.My wife now teaches other women in churches and passes on some of what she has learned... Much of what she has learned has been from the writings of other great wives who's advise was worthy to be taken... (as with any author I don't necessarily agree with all of their points... so eat the meat and spit out the bones)Some of that advice can be found here:Debbie Pearls book on "Created to be his help meet"http://shop.nogreaterjoy.org/index.php/cPath/2_18
I know of many... Many couples who have really benefited from the Book "Created to be his Help meet"... Not just myself... Just about every couple we know in the State side churches has had the opportunity of reading this and by the light in the couples eyes... You can tell it makes a difference... It even made a difference in my own parents who are now over 70 and have been married for over 45 years... sometimes not so happily... (They have had a revival in their marriage from several sources of input but I would have to say that book did the greatest impact.) I will try to post some other URLs as I can find them... Or remember the book or author names...
To tell the truth... I don't consider myself a "Great Husband" But My wife does... And that is one of the things that makes our marriage work.Ladies... Your husband may have many bad qualities... and people are sure to point them out... especially if you encourage it. There is a fine line between a wife's opinion of her husband and what that husband becomes.Behind every good Man.... there is a woman...Your encouragement meens allot.
Sometimes the "Experts" In your life are relatives... other times they are on the Television... Maybe in a magazine or at the Bar...Consider the source... Consider their marriage and ask yourself... is that what I want for my family?While the world wants to tell you to have a great time... live it up...Good marital advice is generally to put your spouse first.Care for the Spouse, the Children, the home...If your spouse is not happy... the whole house will be uneasy...If the husband and wife relationship is out of whack.. the kids will also be a mess. When fellowship is restored and maintained... everything else sort of falls into place as well...A good Marriage is worth the effort...A great Marriage is worth more than the world!!!
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How to be a better Husband.
Everyone in the world wants to tell you how to have a good time and that its ok to cheat on your spouse. I Say Balderdash!! If you value your family you better protect it!
Your eyes are the window to your soul... Learn to tell them "NO!"Jesus told the people in one of his sermons that "If a man looks at a woman to lust after her... He has committed adultery with her already in his heart"When you look at other women and undress them in your mind... you are committing adultery on your wife...This is the foundation of most if not all family problems and Divorces...
Admit that you have an EYE (pronounced "I") Problem... The problem is not your wife... The problem is in looking at other women.Your wife was pretty enough to you when you married her... What has changed? A few years to add laugh lines to her face???She should be growing more beautiful in your eyes... If she is the only woman you look at...You should be growing more dependant on her sexually also as time grows on...
Learn to tell yourself "NO!!! That’s not my wife!!!" and Look another direction...From the moment you start to correct yourself you will find that you wife means more to you... and more to you...
Pornography is not harmless...Pornography is a very addictive tool that destroys... Think with me for a moment and keep your mind open... admit the truth and look at how pornography works...As you look at Pornography you are seeing beautiful women... in sexy poses... Perfect women... First of all the women are for the most part not even real. They are made up like a montage or have been computer altered to make the photos just perfect...They are in poses and with expressions that you will rarely if ever see in real life with your spouse.The pictures get you excited and after repeated use you become dependent upon The Beauty and the expressions...You become dependent more and more upon the Graphic images that promote your sexual desires...Your wife cannot compete with these images.Your wife will be less and less appealing to you by and by... and she will know it...
As your wife senses that you are not as "in Love" with her as you used to be she will generally recluse herself from you and become closed sexually. As your wife notices you looking at other women she becomes bitter against you...As she looks in the mirror she sees lines in her face that are not even perceptible to you... and she says to herself "I’m getting old" and then draws the conclusion that soon her husband will dump her for a younger women...In her heart she knows you would if you could... that you would cheat if you had the chance...Then she starts to wonder about how many chances you have... and thinks on how you are un-attracted to her anymore... and wonders where you are spending your desire at.Remember that you have an EYE Problem!!!Telling your Eyes NO!!! is the first step in Recovery.
You need to start by telling yourself "NO"But you need to start telling your wife...I LOVE YOU!!!How many times in the day can you tell her "I Love you"?How many little ways can you show her???Start by telling yourself in your heart... "I LOVE MY WIFE!!!" "I don’t need to look at any other woman!!!"And remind yourself... "She is the Mother of my Children" "She and my children are both gifts from God... I need to protect them"
There is other advice I could give... but it all starts with a "overcoming selfishness". If you find that these things are too hard for you... that you are overwhelmed... have you asked God to help you?After all... Marriage is his institution... he is the one who founded it and he is the one who wants to see it work for you...Stop for a moment and pray... be honest with God and ask his help.
Want to Improve your Marriage? Here are some things you Need:
Honesty
Honesty with yourself and before God. (You aren't hiding anything from him anyway, so why not go ahead and be honest?)
Love for wife and family
Willingness to tell self NO!!
Your eyes are the window to your soul... Learn to tell them "NO!"Jesus told the people in one of his sermons that "If a man looks at a woman to lust after her... He has committed adultery with her already in his heart"When you look at other women and undress them in your mind... you are committing adultery on your wife...This is the foundation of most if not all family problems and Divorces...
Admit that you have an EYE (pronounced "I") Problem... The problem is not your wife... The problem is in looking at other women.Your wife was pretty enough to you when you married her... What has changed? A few years to add laugh lines to her face???She should be growing more beautiful in your eyes... If she is the only woman you look at...You should be growing more dependant on her sexually also as time grows on...
Learn to tell yourself "NO!!! That’s not my wife!!!" and Look another direction...From the moment you start to correct yourself you will find that you wife means more to you... and more to you...
Pornography is not harmless...Pornography is a very addictive tool that destroys... Think with me for a moment and keep your mind open... admit the truth and look at how pornography works...As you look at Pornography you are seeing beautiful women... in sexy poses... Perfect women... First of all the women are for the most part not even real. They are made up like a montage or have been computer altered to make the photos just perfect...They are in poses and with expressions that you will rarely if ever see in real life with your spouse.The pictures get you excited and after repeated use you become dependent upon The Beauty and the expressions...You become dependent more and more upon the Graphic images that promote your sexual desires...Your wife cannot compete with these images.Your wife will be less and less appealing to you by and by... and she will know it...
As your wife senses that you are not as "in Love" with her as you used to be she will generally recluse herself from you and become closed sexually. As your wife notices you looking at other women she becomes bitter against you...As she looks in the mirror she sees lines in her face that are not even perceptible to you... and she says to herself "I’m getting old" and then draws the conclusion that soon her husband will dump her for a younger women...In her heart she knows you would if you could... that you would cheat if you had the chance...Then she starts to wonder about how many chances you have... and thinks on how you are un-attracted to her anymore... and wonders where you are spending your desire at.Remember that you have an EYE Problem!!!Telling your Eyes NO!!! is the first step in Recovery.
You need to start by telling yourself "NO"But you need to start telling your wife...I LOVE YOU!!!How many times in the day can you tell her "I Love you"?How many little ways can you show her???Start by telling yourself in your heart... "I LOVE MY WIFE!!!" "I don’t need to look at any other woman!!!"And remind yourself... "She is the Mother of my Children" "She and my children are both gifts from God... I need to protect them"
There is other advice I could give... but it all starts with a "overcoming selfishness". If you find that these things are too hard for you... that you are overwhelmed... have you asked God to help you?After all... Marriage is his institution... he is the one who founded it and he is the one who wants to see it work for you...Stop for a moment and pray... be honest with God and ask his help.
Want to Improve your Marriage? Here are some things you Need:
Honesty
Honesty with yourself and before God. (You aren't hiding anything from him anyway, so why not go ahead and be honest?)
Love for wife and family
Willingness to tell self NO!!
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