Your eyes are the window to your soul... Learn to tell them "NO!"Jesus told the people in one of his sermons that "If a man looks at a woman to lust after her... He has committed adultery with her already in his heart"When you look at other women and undress them in your mind... you are committing adultery on your wife...This is the foundation of most if not all family problems and Divorces...
Admit that you have an EYE (pronounced "I") Problem... The problem is not your wife... The problem is in looking at other women.Your wife was pretty enough to you when you married her... What has changed? A few years to add laugh lines to her face???She should be growing more beautiful in your eyes... If she is the only woman you look at...You should be growing more dependant on her sexually also as time grows on...
Learn to tell yourself "NO!!! That’s not my wife!!!" and Look another direction...From the moment you start to correct yourself you will find that you wife means more to you... and more to you...
Pornography is not harmless...Pornography is a very addictive tool that destroys... Think with me for a moment and keep your mind open... admit the truth and look at how pornography works...As you look at Pornography you are seeing beautiful women... in sexy poses... Perfect women... First of all the women are for the most part not even real. They are made up like a montage or have been computer altered to make the photos just perfect...They are in poses and with expressions that you will rarely if ever see in real life with your spouse.The pictures get you excited and after repeated use you become dependent upon The Beauty and the expressions...You become dependent more and more upon the Graphic images that promote your sexual desires...Your wife cannot compete with these images.Your wife will be less and less appealing to you by and by... and she will know it...
As your wife senses that you are not as "in Love" with her as you used to be she will generally recluse herself from you and become closed sexually. As your wife notices you looking at other women she becomes bitter against you...As she looks in the mirror she sees lines in her face that are not even perceptible to you... and she says to herself "I’m getting old" and then draws the conclusion that soon her husband will dump her for a younger women...In her heart she knows you would if you could... that you would cheat if you had the chance...Then she starts to wonder about how many chances you have... and thinks on how you are un-attracted to her anymore... and wonders where you are spending your desire at.Remember that you have an EYE Problem!!!Telling your Eyes NO!!! is the first step in Recovery.
You need to start by telling yourself "NO"But you need to start telling your wife...I LOVE YOU!!!How many times in the day can you tell her "I Love you"?How many little ways can you show her???Start by telling yourself in your heart... "I LOVE MY WIFE!!!" "I don’t need to look at any other woman!!!"And remind yourself... "She is the Mother of my Children" "She and my children are both gifts from God... I need to protect them"
There is other advice I could give... but it all starts with a "overcoming selfishness". If you find that these things are too hard for you... that you are overwhelmed... have you asked God to help you?After all... Marriage is his institution... he is the one who founded it and he is the one who wants to see it work for you...Stop for a moment and pray... be honest with God and ask his help.
Want to Improve your Marriage? Here are some things you Need:
Honesty
Honesty with yourself and before God. (You aren't hiding anything from him anyway, so why not go ahead and be honest?)
Love for wife and family
Willingness to tell self NO!!
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