Concerned about your marriage? You should be...
Are things Cooling off? Maybe It's time for a reality check and some positive action before it's to late.
This article is the first of several I am writing on Marital issues.
Everywhere you turn today there is "advice on relationships". So who do you want to listen to?First off let me qualify you... What do you want out of the relationship? Why do you want to be Married in the first place?Love? Friendship? Companionship? Sex? Finances? Get the Parents off your back? Someone to help you raise the kids?
Whatever your reasons to get married... What do you want from the marriage? How long do you want it to last? Long time? Great... how do you want to spend that eternity... "Happy with Marital Bliss???" or "Just doing time like a convict or caged animal"?
Who you receive and emulate the advice from will determine much in the way of where you end up in your marriage.What does it matter how many PHD's a person has on marital psychology if they have been married and divorced 15 times and are currently shacked up? Why listen to so called "Professionals" give marital advice when they can't even keep their own family in order? That's not the kind of track record that shows promise in the area of making a good marriage.That's like Hiring a Chauffer with 5 DWI's, 7 Reckless driving, and 10 Speeding tickets... along with 8 At Fault Accidents.... Considering all of that as an "Experienced Driver".Is that the kind of "Experience" you want advising you?
Most books have a "Forward" written by someone else who knows the author and who generally talks about the author... or maybe its the author them self who writes it as a testimony of where they have been and why you should listen to them...Read it... Look for things that show promise of good advice ahead.Look for the signs of a true "Expert" on marriage... that the person already has a "Good Marriage" and is writing from an experienced viewpoint.
How Long have they been married and how many Children have they raised?Did they raise the Children themselves or did the Public School system and the Television do it for them?How far have their children gone... where have they ended up?How is there marriage to their spouse?Look for signs of rebellion... animosity... Look for signs of Respect... love, Consideration, Un-Selfishness.Look at their other book titles... Do the titles conflict?One on "Family" and another on something that is apposed or contrary to those values? Is the person talking out both sides of their mouth?
I thank the Lord for my wife... and I also thank the Lord for the women she has learned from.My wife now teaches other women in churches and passes on some of what she has learned... Much of what she has learned has been from the writings of other great wives who's advise was worthy to be taken... (as with any author I don't necessarily agree with all of their points... so eat the meat and spit out the bones)Some of that advice can be found here:Debbie Pearls book on "Created to be his help meet"http://shop.nogreaterjoy.org/index.php/cPath/2_18
I know of many... Many couples who have really benefited from the Book "Created to be his Help meet"... Not just myself... Just about every couple we know in the State side churches has had the opportunity of reading this and by the light in the couples eyes... You can tell it makes a difference... It even made a difference in my own parents who are now over 70 and have been married for over 45 years... sometimes not so happily... (They have had a revival in their marriage from several sources of input but I would have to say that book did the greatest impact.) I will try to post some other URLs as I can find them... Or remember the book or author names...
To tell the truth... I don't consider myself a "Great Husband" But My wife does... And that is one of the things that makes our marriage work.Ladies... Your husband may have many bad qualities... and people are sure to point them out... especially if you encourage it. There is a fine line between a wife's opinion of her husband and what that husband becomes.Behind every good Man.... there is a woman...Your encouragement meens allot.
Sometimes the "Experts" In your life are relatives... other times they are on the Television... Maybe in a magazine or at the Bar...Consider the source... Consider their marriage and ask yourself... is that what I want for my family?While the world wants to tell you to have a great time... live it up...Good marital advice is generally to put your spouse first.Care for the Spouse, the Children, the home...If your spouse is not happy... the whole house will be uneasy...If the husband and wife relationship is out of whack.. the kids will also be a mess. When fellowship is restored and maintained... everything else sort of falls into place as well...A good Marriage is worth the effort...A great Marriage is worth more than the world!!!
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